FAT, STUPID KID: Ice skating in Alabama (column), (with photos)

I know ice skating in Alabama at an outside venue is rare here, but on very cold special winters, it is possible. 

Here is my experience with this magical event. 

When I was around 11 years old, it got very cold here. I know it was in January. I can’t remember the date, but it was below freezing on that morning. 

A bunch of us Brecon boys and girls were exploring the powder buildings in the woods near our houses as we often did.

We came across a frozen patch of ground, probably a swampy area normally. They all took turns sliding across the ice. Boy did it look fun! 

They all yelled for me to come on and try it, but I was doubtful the ice would hold me. Several jumped up and down to show me how solid it was, so I decided it was good enough to try.

Remember, I am fat and stupid, so here goes nothing. 

I took a running start so that I would carry far out onto the ice. As soon as my feet landed on the ice, it broke through, and I submarined under the thin ice for several feet before my momentum stopped me. 

I came up through the ice like a nuclear submarine breaking through at the arctic circle! 

It took everyone to get me out of that swamp, with all getting soaking wet and freezing. I thought at one point that it would take a tractor and rope, but my friends made a valiant effort and removed me by themselves. 

The run home was a cold one, and I ran all of the way to try to thaw out. Luckily, Mom did not see me come in. I put my wet muddy clothes in the hamper for a later explanation. 

We had all agreed to meet back up at the powder house and try to build a glider, and I did not want to miss my turn at that! What did you expect? I am fat and stupid, but that’s a story for another day.

David Sparks is a contributing columnist for The Daily Home.