Wednesday’s beans ’n greens ’n other things:



It is the summer of my 13th year and my late grandfather, who owned a beautiful 180-acre farm, has decided to “retire.” He rents the farm to a Deskew Collins, a really good black guy who had seven or eight kids and worked hard to take care of them.

With the coming of “Mr. Deskew,” I have the summer free … fish, swim, and steal watermelons, the latter being the center of this little essay.

On a rather nice day my best buddy, the late Gerald Harbin, comes over the mountain. We have a couple of pints of the “recipe” and we head for the foot of the mountain and a small pond.

Just a hundred yards or so from the pond, “Mr. Deskew” has a lovely watermelon patch. With trouble lurking in the lowering level of our “recipe,” more and more watermelons find their way into the small pond.

When we left, it looked as if you could walk across that pond on “Mr. Deskew’s” watermelons.

Pride of our scientific experiment came to an end the next day when “Mr. Deskew” visited my father, who, in turn, beat me like a soreback camel.

That was the easy part. I had to work the rest of the summer for free in the cotton fields of my grandfather’s farm which were now the summer fields for “Mr. Deskew.”

Harbin spent the summer that was supposed to be mine … fishing, swimming, and stealing watermelons. I suspect he took of the recipe a few times, too. Don’t know, didn’t see him until school resumed in the fall.

Me … I was out there in the heat of August, hoe in hand, whacking away at the crabgrass, and watching big, black Buicks roll by out on the highway.

The wages of sin …


QUOTABLE:You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.” -- Yogi Berra



Remember that old ballpark ditty?

Well, forget the popcorn and the Crackerjacks … and now you can forget the peanuts if you’re flying Southwest.

The airline has just announced it will discontinue peanuts on all its flights in deference to those with peanut allergies. As a replacement, Southwest will offer pretzels.

I hate pretzels, love peanuts. So do others. The airline served more than 106 million bags last year.

The reason I brought this up is I have flown a lot of miles with Southwest over the years and eaten my share of Southwest  peanuts.

Hopefully my flying days are in the rearview mirror, but if not I’ll pack peanuts with my baloney sandwich.



“Have you told her she’s sleeping in the bed you made for me?”

I love the old country and thought I might throw in some of its better lines from time to time.



Q --What do you call a cow with one leg?

A -- Lean beef.

Q -- What do you call a cow with a twitch?

A -- Beef jerky.

Q -- What do you call a cow stuck in a barbed wire fence?

A – Udder destruction.

I’m an old farm boy who milked a lot of cows, but I’ll assure you those are not my jokes … found ’em on the ‘net.


BIRTHDAYS: July 15 – Lillian Hafley and Leroy Fitzpatrick; July 16 – Brenda King and Charles Munday; July 17 – Gerald Wilkerson; July 18 – Gail Smith, Lynn Nunnally, and Wayne Thrasher.

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George Smith can be reached at 256-239-5286 or email: