Seriously, what’s wrong with me?
I fell asleep.
I fell asleep watching “The Human Centipede.”
I fell asleep watching a movie about a mad scientist who sews people together – butt to face – because … well, honestly, I don’t know why.
Point is, I fell asleep … to THAT!
I’m officially desensitized to gore, screams, torture, demons, monsters and buckets of squirting, spurting, dripping blood. Also, I’m sleep-deprived.
The only thing that scared me about “Human Centipede” was being woken up by my 8-year-old daughter while watching it. Thankfully, nothing like this was happening, and I was able to quick-grab the remote before she was forever traumatized against both humans and centipedes.
Sadly, after my daughter was ushered back to bed, I was left to finish watching this vile movie.
As the kids say, here’s the thing … I love horror movies, which means blood and guts don’t bother me. It comes with the territory. But I’m not a fan of torture for torture’s sake.
Movies like “Human Centipede” and, god help me, its sequels were made for the sheer purpose of shocking and disturbing people. There’s no real story. It’s just a guy who wants to surgically attach a man and two women together in a daisy chain.
With your imagination running wild to its deepest, darkest depths, it won’t come close to the reality of this stupid, stupid movie. It’s the kind of film that horror fans watch just to see what all the chatter’s about … then hate themselves for it.
And I did – hate myself.
At least I could go back to sleep.
Brett Buckner is watching a horror movie every night in October for #StarHorrorfest. Follow along on Twitter @bbuckner32 or AnnistonStar.com/Horrorfest.