Looking Glass

THIS IS COMING TO YOU FROM THE GREAT BEYOND:

After his fiancee dumped him for assaulting her and filed a restraining order against him, a man in Cornwall, England, posed as her dead mother, sending the woman a letter begging her to take him back. The woman immediately knew that the letter came from him. Law enforcement was called in.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FOLKS, YOU NIT!

A man got drunk with his friends in Glasgow, Scotland, then took a taxi to his parents’ home and lay down on the couch to sleep it off. The lady of the house woke up and informed him that his parents hadn’t lived there for two years.

WAKEY, WAKEY, EGGS AND BAKEY!

A man passed out behind the wheel in the drive-thru at the McDonald’s in Fullerton, Calif., at 2:30 in the morning. The cops came and woke him up, and found 96 grams of meth in the glove compartment.

NO, WE DON’T BELIEVE IN FAIRIES, SIR:

A heavily intoxicated man dressed as Tinkerbell was kicked off a Ryanair passenger plane on the tarmac at London’s Stansted Airport before the plane left for Krakow. He was apparently part of a wedding party, and flight attendants said he became disruptive and was threatening other passengers. The groom and the best man were also ejected.

LET ME JUST SHOW YOU WHAT I THINK!

The 57-year-old wife of the coach of a junior varsity softball team in Floyd, Va., went out to the pitcher’s mound and mooned the upset fans in the stands after her husband’s team lost the game.

SURE, LADY, HOP IN:

After a night of partying, a young woman found herself stranded by her friends after midnight on Hutchinson Island, S.C., Her phone was dead and she needed a ride home, so she pulled a fire alarm and asked emergency personnel to transport her.

WE CAN WAIT HERE AS LONG AS IT TAKES, SIR:

Police raided a marijuana growing operation in Elmer Township, Mich., prompting the 60-year-old owner of the large property to leap into a canoe and paddle out onto a pond. He eventually returned to land, because he couldn’t stay out there forever.

STAND ASIDE! OFFICIAL BUSINESS!

A Bolivian military officer was transporting the nation’s historic presidential gold medal, which dates to 1825 and is studded with emeralds, when he decided to stop in a red-light district on the way to the airport. While he was inside, somebody stole it from his car.

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