Looking Glass

I THINK IT WAS BEST WE PARTED WAYS:

A scorned woman took a baseball bat and a can of spray paint to the $400,000 Mercedes-Benz of her former lover, which was parked on the street in Adelaide, Australia. She painted the words “cheater” and “slut” on the vehicle, which he bought the previous week, and then went at it with the bat.

UH, YES, THEY BELONG TO US:

About a hundred goats descended on a neighborhood in Boise, Idaho, and commenced to feast on lawns, leaves and shrubs in people’s front yards. A large truck from the company We Rent Goats arrived and rounded up the animals.

TAKE YOUR KID TO WORK DAY:

 A man who had his 2-year-old son with him tried to burglarize an auto repair shop in Newport News, Va., and then tried to take the car keys of a clerk at the 7-Eleven across the street.

HI, REMEMBER ME?

A woman returned to her home in Myrtle Beach, S.C., to find a male intruder “just inside her door eating a corndog.” She said she recognized the man as someone she had met last year, but she did not recall his name.

WELL, THAT MAY EXPLAIN IT, MA’AM:

A woman who believed that a giant spider was on her back took off all of her clothes and ran naked through Bartlett Park in St. Petersburg, Fla. She told arresting officers that she had recently used crack cocaine, spice and crystal meth.

I FEEL PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY:

A woman in Gaziomanapasa, Turkey, is suing to end her nine-year marriage because her husband started wearing make-up and dressing in “sexy thongs and pantyhose” around the house.

IT’S TIME TO PAR-TAAY!

Swarms of wasps have been getting drunk on fermented berries and then attacking people in a stinging rampage all around England. Experts say that at this time of year adult wasps are left with nothing to do after their young have flown the nest, so they “go down the pub.”

LICENSE? WHY NO, OFFICER, I DON’T HAVE ONE:

A 10-year-old boy decided to take his 7-year-old brother to Virginia Beach, so he borrowed his guardians’ Lexus and drove 37 miles down Interstate 64. They made it most of the way before crashing into the median just past the Gum Springs exit in Goochland County.

I’M IN KIND OF A HURRY:

A man stole a jeep in Idaho, gassed it up at a station in Spokane, Wash., and then tried to flee without paying, dragging an employee about 20 feet before crashing into another car. Police said he was also in possession of methamphetamine.

Loading...
Loading...