Looking Glass

IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME:

A British expatriate living in Taiwan was such a big supporter of the nation’s independence movement that he had its name tattooed on his forehead in huge Chinese characters, as well as Taiwan’s flag on his chin. He explained later that he never would have done it had he not been drunk.

IT WAS EASIER TO GET IN THAN OUT:

A young Japanese government official got very drunk and, as he was heading home, climbed a fence and inadvertently entered the yard of Kakogawa Prison. He was immediately overpowered by guards. He said later, “I didn’t notice it was a prison.”

NO, I’M SOMEONE ELSE, MAN:

A former employee at a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Baton Rouge, La., donned a black ski mask and brought a gun to rob the place, despite the fact that the people he used to work with were still there. After they handed over the money, one of them recognized him and asked, “Cleveland, is that you?” He replied, “No, it’s not me.”

TOTALLY WORTH IT!

A woman was barred from a Pennsylvania Walmart after a judge issued a no-trespass order due to her bad behavior. She showed up there anyway, explaining to arresting officers, “The cake Walmart sells is too good to stay away.”

I’LL BE RIGHT BACK, DEAR:

In order to escape his wife’s “controlling behavior,” a man in England left and lived in the woods for 10 years.

THIS BELONG TO YOU, SIR?

A man who burglarized a discount tire store in Fair Lawn, N.J., left his wallet behind. Police were investigating a few hours later and arrested him nearby when he returned to the scene of the crime to try and retrieve it.

GOING FOR A SWIM, ARE WE?

A man tried to rob a convenience store in Largo, Fla., while wearing a scuba mask. The clerk pressed the silent alarm, and the cops were waiting for him when he came out.   

ANYWAY, I DON’T THINK SHE’S MY TYPE:

A woman said she crashed a wedding in Palm Coast, Fla., to spy on her “boyfriend,” who was an invited guest. When she saw him dancing with another woman, she poured a drink on him and punched her in the face. After she was arrested, the man told deputies that she was not, in fact, his girlfriend.

YOU’RE A VERY ADVENTUROUS YOUNG FELLOW:

A prostitute arranged to meet a customer at a home in a gated community in Trinity, Fla. When she got there, she found that her client was a 15-year-old boy who told her they had to be quiet because his parents were sleeping upstairs.

THIS IS A MAN WITH A PURPOSE:

A man stole an ambulance, smashed into several cars, ran several stop signs and finally crashed into a protective barrier outside a CVS in Danville, Pa. Then he went inside and tried to steal oxycontin.