HONEY, PROMISE ME YOU WON’T GET MAD:
A college coed tested her blood as part of a biology class and found that her blood type did not match that of her parents. Turns out her mother had had an affair with her husband’s stepbrother. The mother kept the secret from both men for 21 years. A divorce is in the works.
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!
A man in Edgewater, Fla., who suspected his neighbors of stealing his lawnmower set their Corvette on fire.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN’AT?!
A man swiped a pot of meatballs from a guy’s garage in Luzerne County, Pa. The victim told police that he saw the thief standing in front of his house with red sauce smeared on his face and clothes. The pot was found on the street nearby.
DON’T TELL ME I CAN’T LEAVE!
A woman who got on a plane in Newark, N.J., suddenly realized that she was on the wrong flight, so she opened the emergency exit door and jumped right down the inflatable slide to the tarmac.
BUT IT SEEMS THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAS DETERIORATED:
A man in Adelaide, Australia, used a chainsaw to chase off two men who were smashing the windows of his utility vehicle with baseball bats. Police said all three men know each other.
IT’S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE:
The police department in Vancouver, British Columbia, is paying volunteers to get drunk in order to train new recruits on how to conduct sobriety tests.
HOW DID YOU CATCH ME?
A man who went to Omaha Police Headquarters to falsely report that his brother had robbed him remembered that he had cocaine in his possession, so he hid it in the ceiling of the interrogation room. He was soon to discover that such rooms are equipped with surveillance cameras.
I’LL TAKE THAT AS A ‘NO’:
An elderly man was spotted riding his mobility scooter on a highway near Longwell Green, England, as cars roared past him. Other drivers tried to signal him to get off the road, but he responded with a hand gesture to indicate that he would not comply.
WAKE UP, WE’RE HERE:
A New Jersey man who was staying with friends in West Virginia got drunk and called Uber for a ride. He passed out when he got into the car, and the driver got his address from his phone, thinking he meant “home” to New Jersey, not to his friends’ place. Long story short: a 300-mile ride for $1,635.93.