Looking Glass

NEXT TIME, PLAN AHEAD:

A man stole a mini fridge from a Home Depot in Horn, Miss., but discovered that it would not fit in his car. So he drove off holding it out the window, dragging it on the concrete. He soon realized the futility of his effort and dropped it in a nearby parking lot.

BUT THE DOG REFUSED THE BREATHALYZER:

A man who was arrested for drunk driving on Interstate 95 outside Port St. Lucie, Fla., told police that his dog was at the wheel, not him.

AS YOU CAN SEE, IT’S VERY CHILLY:

A man texted the police reporting that he witnessed a naked man in the street in Sydney, Australia. He also texted a picture. An investigation by authorities revealed it was actually him in the photo. Police said, “He appeared to be suffering some obvious effects of the cold night air but was otherwise well.”

BUT I’M HERE TO HELP THE CAUSE OF JUSTICE:

A woman showed up for jury duty at a courthouse in West Pasco, Fla., while in possession of cocaine and methamphetamine. She told arresting officers that she forgot she had the drugs in her pocket.

WE’RE PRETTY SURE THAT’S NOT WHO HE IS:

A naked man who poured gasoline around a home in Johnson Fork, Ky., and tried to set it on fire told arresting officers that “he may be Jesus.” Among the many charges against him was “giving an officer false identifying information.”

HEE-HEE, THIS WILL BE SUCH FUN … BA-BOOM!

A man installed a shoe camera to take videos up the skirts of women in Madison, Wis., but was thwarted in his efforts when the battery exploded, injuring his foot.

NOW TASTE MY VENGEANCE!

In the wake of the deaths of 12 whales hit by large vessels in Alaska in the past few years, a whale struck the side of the state ferry Tustumena traveling between Homer and Kodiak. The captain said the beast “came at us like a torpedo.”

IT’S BACK TO DRIVER’S ED FOR YOU, PAL:

Security camera footage revealed a man trying to steal a pickup truck from the driveway of a home in Bensalem, Pa., but he repeatedly hit the car parked behind it because he was unable to execute a three-point turn. He eventually got out and ran away.

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