Looking Glass

WHO’S A GOOD GIRL?! YOU ARE! YES, YOU ARE!

Sombra, a dog with the counter-narcotics force in Colombia, has sniffed out 10 tons of the powerful Urabeños drug gang’s cocaine. As a result, the gang has put a hit out on the animal, offering $70,000 to anyone who kills her. Police have moved Sombra for her own safety.

THIS LOOKS LIKE THE WORK OF KANG THE DESTROYER!

A man left a giant parabolic mirror – used to harness and focus sunlight – inside his Subaru Outback while he went to work inside San Francisco’s Exploratorium. While he was gone, the sun moved across the sky and created a focused beam of energy that melted parts of the car’s plastic interior like a supervillain’s death ray.

PEEK-A-BOO, WE SEE YOU!

Police went to an apartment in Spokane, Wash., in response to a tip from the Domestic Violence Unit that a man was on the premises in violation of a restraining order on the part of the lady who lived there. After what the cops described as “the adult version of hide and seek,” they found him in the clothes dryer.

BUT OFFICER, I’M HERE TO HELP!

Massachusetts State Police arrested a woman for drunk driving in Hyannis and ordered that a tow truck be dispatched to remove her car. When the tow truck driver showed up, they arrested him for drunk driving too.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW!?

A 74-year-old man went to the Verizon store in Raleigh, N.C., to get his phone fixed a half-hour after the place closed for the evening. After making his displeasure known to the employees inside by kicking the glass door until it broke, he got into his car and drove it right into the building.

OK, FIRST ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM:

Baboons in Cape Town, South Africa, have developed a taste for sauvignon blanc grapes and are raiding local vineyards, getting drunk and running amok before rampaging through the town attacking animals and vandalizing property. Vineyard owners have hired marksmen to keep the beasts at bay.

WHAT IS IT NOW, OFFICER!?

Police ticketed a woman for driving her 2018 Ford Mustang at 92 mph in a 75 mph zone in Hershey, Neb. Then she drove away from the scene at 142 mph, so they pulled her over again.

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