Doodles were in the news this week. Not the things you scribble on the side of a notepad during a boring lecture. Not the Google doodles, those special occasions when Google changes up its logo. No, we’re talking about doggie doodles.
This week the Australian dog breeder who created the Labradoodle — that adorable cross between a Labrador and a poodle — expressed regret over his invention. “I opened a Pandora box and released a Frankenstein monster,” Wally Conron told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.
How dare that man say such a thing about the most adorable dog to ever be genetically altered?
In Conron’s defense, he was more concerned about potential health problems for the dogs and “unethical, ruthless” breeders.
Breeders have been making lots of doodles. And poos.
Besides the well-known Labradoodle (Labrador plus poodle) and Goldendoodle (golden retriever plus poodle), we now have the:
• Irishdoodle (Irish setter plus poodle)
• Saint Berdoodle (Saint Bernard plus poodle)
• Springerdoodle (springer spaniel plus poodle)
• English Boodle (bulldog plus poodle)
• Sheepadoodle (sheepdog plus poodle)
• Dalmadoodle (dalmatian plus poodle)
• Rottle (Rottweiler plus poodle)
• Cockapoo (cocker spaniel plus poodle)
• Jack-a-poo (Jack Russell terrier plus poodle)
• Eskapoo (American Eskimo plus poodle)
• Shihpoo (Shih Tzu plus poodle)
• Sheltiepoo (sheltie plus poodle)
• Yorkiepoo (Yorkie plus poodle)
• Maltipoo (Maltese plus poodle)
• Doxiepoo (dachshund plus poodle)
• Pomapoo (Pomeranian plus poodle)
• Schnoodle (Schnauzer plus poodle)
• Poopadoodle (Poodle plus poodle … OK, I made this one up.)
You have to feel for those poor, overworked poodles.
Also, “Schnoodle” is my new favorite word.
I really want to get a collie doodle. I would name her Polly Wolly, and I would holler, “Polly Wolly Collie Doodle” all the day.
Actually, I already have a doodle, sort of. My dog was a shelter puppy, and they told me when we adopted her that her mother was a poodle. She looks nothing like a poodle. She’s a medium-sized dog with long, straight black fur and brown eyebrows. She’s a muttdoodle.
There are three other doodles on the block, two Labradoodles and a Goldendoodle. I decided to ask them what they thought about the recent doodle controversy.
Me: Your creator has called you a “Frankenstein monster.” How do you feel about that?
Doodle: Did you say “frank”? Do you have a hot dog? Can I have the hot dog?
Me: Do you worry that you are a victim of ruthless breeders?
Doodle: Hot dog! Hot dog! Want hot dog!
Me: I don’t have a hot dog! I’m trying to ascertain how you feel about the ethical implications of designer dogs.
Me: Hey, eyes on me please.
Doodle: Want to watch me eat this big stick?
Me: Why did you chase my car the other day?
Doodle: Thought you were a squirrel.
Lisa Davis is Features Editor of The Anniston Star. Contact her at 256-235-3555 or email@example.com