Sweet Heat Skittles

Starbucks Crystal Ball Frappuccino: Apparently having run out of mythical creatures to name novelty drinks after, last week Starbucks debuted the Crystal Ball Frappuccino, available for a limited time only. Thank heavens.

First off, it was beige. Second, it was the most overwhelmingly sweet thing I have ever put in my mouth. It was like pink-stuff liquid antibiotics for kids, with a hint of lime.

There was another flavor I couldn’t identify, which I later learned was supposed to be peach.

The sugary sparkles on top were supposed to tell my fortune, depending on what color I got. Blue means adventure. Green means luck. I got purple, which means, “You just wasted $5, sucka!”

Taco Bell Nacho Fries: Get these while you can, because Taco Bell just announced its new Nacho Fries will only be available for another week or so. But fear not. You can get the same taste by going to any high school sports concession stand, ordering a side of fries and asking them to dump some of that plastic nacho cheese on top.

Peep-flavored Oreos: These are purple in the middle, but they don’t taste all that different than regular Oreos. It makes me sad to think of all the cute little Peeps that were squished to fit between two chocolate cookies, but that didn’t stop me from eating half the package.

Sweet Heat Skittles: So we’re just going to put Sriracha sauce on everything now? These come in five flavors: Fiery Watermelon, Blazin’ Mango, Flamin’ Orange, Sizzlin’ Strawberry and Lemon Spark. They taste like regular Skittles until you’ve chewed them up and then, ow, they leave a little burned patch on your tongue.

Lay’s Southern Biscuits and Gravy Potato Chips: This seems like such a bad idea. Open the bag, and these smell JUST LIKE biscuits and gravy. They don’t taste like biscuits and gravy, though. They taste like vinegary, peppery potato chips — and they’re really good. This shouldn’t be surprising, since gravy is also good on mashed potatoes, and chips are just super-mashed potatoes.

Jolly Rancher Watermelon Pop-Tarts: I really, really didn’t want to eat this. Watermelon jelly in the middle — how is watermelon jelly even a thing? Slime-green frosting on top with a drizzle of rubber-eraser pink. This does taste exactly like a watermelon Jolly Rancher, except it doesn’t stick to your teeth. Small mercies. I think a Tide Pod would taste better than this.

Lisa Davis is Features Editor of The Anniston Star. Contact her at 256-235-3555 or ldavis@annistonstar.com.

Features Editor Lisa Davis: 256-235-3555.