• Roses are red, violets are blue,
    Sugar is sweet, and so are Tide Pods.
  • You set my heart aflame like a faulty Crock-Pot

  • If you fall, I will catch you. — Tom Brady

  • I ain’t never gonna spit you out. — Pink

  • I fell for you harder than an Olympic figure skater

  • We go together like MLK and Dodge pickups

  • I would be a giant hologram 4 U

  • Will you be my emotional support peacock?

  • Your love lifts me higher than Eli lifted Odell.

  • Without love, I am but a clanging Gronk

  • Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art hotter than Doritos Blaze.

  • How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height of the Mueller probe.

Features Editor Lisa Davis: 256-235-3555.