It doesn't appear that subpoenas await any coaches.
While commissioner Mike Slive's 2008 claim to have nearly eradicated cheating in the league still brings a chuckle, one doubts that Alabama's baffling appeal of light sanctions over the textbook scandal will raise much compliance discussion.
Expect talk about recruiting gimmicks and secondary violations, but they call 'em secondary for a reason.
Recent BCS-antitrust hearings in Congress passed without fanfare or consequence, and it's doubtful that Utah media will send reporters to grill Urban Meyer for saying the aggrieved Utes couldn't hack the SEC grind.
So this week's media seed and feed in Hoover should center on Florida's chances for a third national title in four years.
Expect plenty of talk about well-worn Gator savior Tim Tebow's chances for a second Heisman Trophy, and Meyer will have to bat down talk of him going to Notre Dame after this season.
Last year's top-tenured SEC coaches exited the scene, so enter Tennessee's mouthy Lane Kiffin, Auburn's ever-dry Gene Chizik and Mississippi State's Dan Mullen.
Get ready for debate on whether to buy or sell the Rebel yell surrounding Ole Miss' chances to break through on the SEC and national scene.
Yes, it sounds a lot like football and not so much like other stuff that typically clouds the SEC's rite of summer.
We'll see how it holds up, but the following look to be the top five topics for the week.
1. Florida recount
Why would anyone obsess on whether Florida can go undefeated? The Gators' two national titles in three years prove they don't have to.
Auburn put the "1" in Florida's loss column in 2006, and Ole Miss did it last season. Florida still ended up next to the "1" in the Bowl Championship Series standings.
Going undefeated all the way to a national title is the one thing Florida hasn't done. Why not talk about Florida taking that next step?
2. Talkin' Tebow
Of course, if Florida goes unbeaten, then Tebow won't have a chance to deliver a won't-happen-again speech.
And in a new twist, we have Tim Tebow as victim. He was denied last season's Heisman in a controversial vote.
More controversial, he didn't get all possible votes for the coaches' preseason All-SEC team. Somebody besides Meyer, who could not vote for his own player, voted for someone else as the league's top quarterback.
Ole Miss' Houston Nutt could not vote for Jevan Snead, so who voted against Tebow?
Gee, wonder who.
3. Lane or lame?
Kiffin hasn't coached a game in the SEC, but doesn't it feel like we've known him for years?
His pokes at other SEC coaches have kept most everyone but Slive amused during the offseason. He's already prompted Slive to scold the league's coaches for sniping while showing his own need to bone up on NCAA rules.
Kiffin has whetted everyone's appetite for something resembling Steve Spurrier at his prickly best, but whoa. Hadn't Spurrier won a lot of games in the SEC by the time he started needling Tennessee?
4. Naming rights
Chizik could get a lot of laughs by leading off with a joke about there being no "N" in his last name.
It would be even funnier if the moderator slipped and introduced him as Gene Chiznik.
It's become a running joke on one of the Southeast's most heard radio shows. Even Birmingham's mayor got it wrong in a live interview.
What's in a name, and what to read into apparent confusion over Chizik's name?
Chances are that one won't see throngs awaiting Chizik's appearance at the Wynfrey Hotel. We'll probably hear more about Chizik's recruiting gimmicks than about Auburn's new coach this week.
I bet he wouldn't mind jokes about his name.
After all, Chizik has put his 5-19 career record on the back burner with most Auburn fans. Getting the rest of the SEC-watching world off it would probably suit him just fine.
5. Rebel yell
Ole Miss has become the SEC's trendy dark horse.
The Rebels beat Florida last season and count Snead among their many returning starters, but history makes it hard to see Ole Miss overcoming Alabama and LSU in the West Division. Good as Snead is, not even Eli Manning could get Ole Miss to Atlanta. The Rebels remain the lone West team to not play in the SEC title game.
But one won't find history on the Rebels' schedule, and they get Alabama and LSU at home. Nutt has taken teams to Atlanta.
And gosh almighty, Ole Miss is due.