Lisa Davis: Taking my vitamins
by Lisa Davis
Special to The Star
Jul 21, 2013 | 1836 views |  0 comments | 15 15 recommendations | email to a friend | print
I’m at that age where certain parts of me no longer work like they used to. So I’ve started taking lots of vitamins and supplements, hoping that if I take some good pills now, I won’t have to take the bad, expensive pills later.

My current morning routine goes something like this:

1. Wake up, take a pill for joint health. Wait 30 minutes before taking anything else.

2. Take a pill for stomach issues. Wait another 30 minutes before eating.

3. Eat breakfast like a hungry wolf.

4. Take a multivitamin.

5. Take a couple of extra B vitamins to aid in the absorption of the pill for joint health.

6. Take a teaspoon of cod liver oil. (Yes, I’ve turned into my grandmother.)

7. Here, I should also take a teaspoon of local honey for my allergies, but I never remember to do that. Maybe I should start taking ginkgo biloba as a memory aid.

I have been trying to get more probiotics into my diet throughout the day. Probiotics are good bacteria that aid in digestion and all sorts of other good-for-you things. They can be found in fermented foods like yogurt.

They’re are all the rage these days. Every carton of yogurt in the store screams “probiotics!!” on the label. I even saw a jar of pickles that advertised “probiotics inside!!!”

But I’m bored with yogurt. And I don’t want to eat that many pickles.

I could take my probiotics in pill form, because I’m already taking enough pills (see Nos. 1-5, above) but I’d probably forget to take them (see No. 7).

So I’ve been trying to get my probiotics from fermented foods. In the winter, I would have a cup of miso soup — Japanese seasoning made from fermented soybeans — for lunch. But now it’s too hot for soup.

Then my grocery store started carrying kefir — fermented milk drink. And that was good, until I realized that, for what I was paying for a quart of kefir, I could buy a gallon of buttermilk, another fermented milk drink.

I started drinking a buttermilk-strawberry smoothie for breakfast every morning. Until all that dairy started to bother my stomach. (See. No. 2.)

Next I tried kimchi (very spicy Korean fermented cabbage). That didn’t work, because somebody didn’t notice the warning sign on the top of the jar that said, “CAUTION: Contents under pressure. Open carefully,” and inadvertently exploded stinky kimchi juice all over the kitchen.

Sauerkraut is also fermented cabbage, but I can only stomach it layered with pastrami on toasted rye, which would seem to defeat the purpose.

Most recently, I discovered bottles of a drink called kombucha, a Chinese fermented tea, at the store. It smells a little like apple cider vinegar but actually tastes pretty good.

I was swigging a big bottle of kombucha every day, and feeling fine, when I noticed the fine print on the label: “Contains a trace amount of alcohol.” I’ve been drinking 1-proof sweet tea.

Hey, wait a minute. Wine is fermented, isn’t it? And beer?

Silly me. I don’t need sauerkraut or kimchi to get my probiotics. I’ll just drink my vitameatavegamin.

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Lisa Davis: Taking my vitamins by Lisa Davis
Special to The Star

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