Homecoming at AU shouldn’t sound like this but likely will
by Joe Medley
Nov 02, 2012 | 2969 views |  0 comments | 10 10 recommendations | email to a friend | print
AUBURN — Some homecoming, eh, Auburn fans? Let’s see what’s on the menu for tailgating conversation.

Hey, there’s freshman quarterback Jonathan Wallace! He’s getting his first start Saturday, and he’s playing against New Mexico State. There’s a real chance that an Auburn quarterback will look like a competent SEC quarterback this season.

Then again, conversation about Wallace inevitably leads to chatter about Auburn’s last quarterback of the future, sophomore Kiehl Frazier. Just this fall, he was two quarterbacks ago.

Poor, Kiehl. How could they change systems on him and make him run something he’s never run before this season? How could the head coach think a pro-style offense was a good idea with spread players?

(Enter pregnant pause, a few coughs and diversionary reaches for second helpings of food, though some plates still have first helpings.) How about that Ashton Richardson getting his Rhodes Scholar interview! Anybody hear how it went? Let me check my phone to see if there’s news.

(Still looking, so someone fill the latest pregnant pause with conversation. Anything.)

Oh, wasn’t Richardson the guy involved in the play where the Ole Miss running back pulled a Michael Dyer on us?

Hey, how about that Michael Dyer play. That’s got to be one of the best and most memorable plays in the history of Auburn football.

You’ve heard of “Bo Over The Top?” That was “Dyer Not On His Bottom.”

Yeah, 2010: what a year that was!

Yeah, hard to believe that was just two years ago, and too bad Dyer isn’t here anymore.

(Enter another pregnant pause and a reach for thirds, though some plates still have firsts and seconds. Oh, and what’s in the cooler?)

Yeah, Dyer could have helped this team.

I dunno, with this offensive line? Not sure it would have made a huge difference.

We’re so young everywhere, and how did we get that way? Gene Chizik has signed top-10 classes. I know that a third of those guys aren’t on the roster, but still.

Speaking of recruiting, do you think it’s true, what Danny Sheridan said about us pulling two coaches off of the road because of possible violations?

Pfft. You just said the name Danny Sheridan, didn’t you? Mr. Bagman himself? That’s all you need to say. Why even dignify what he says at the #$&! Tuscaloosa Touchdown Club? We saw what came of it last time he opened his mouth about us.

Well, Chizik was pretty loud and proud in his defense against all the Cam Newton accusations. Remember his “wizard behind the curtain rant?” He’s not answering questions this time, and Trooper Taylor and Curtis Luper didn’t really answer the question. I wonder if we’re really in trouble this time.

Dude, don’t be such a bed wetter. Sheridan is still carrying the torch, and the ‘Bammer media’ is loving it. You’re giving them what they want.

But I’m just saying, they’re not answering the questions. Doesn’t that concern you?

(Enter another pregnant pause and a reach for fourths, though some plates still have seconds and thirds. Sure hope that cooler is stocked.)

Chizik can’t survive NCAA problems, and didn’t the NCAA just pass a thing saying head coaches are presumed responsible? What if there is a case and it can’t be finished before the Aug. 1 cutoff next year?

Dude, never mind all of that. I don’t see how Chizik can survive what’s happened on the field this year.

Well, he did win our second-ever national title and the first since 1957.

No, Cam did that.

Hey, don’t forget Nick Fairley. It wasn’t just Cam.

And don’t forget that senior offensive line. Sure wish we had those guys back right now.

Tommy Tuberville signed those guys. He gets a lot of blame for last year because of recruiting back in ’07 and ’08, but he did leave us a lot of pieces that we had around Cam in 2010.

Yeah, and can’t blame Tuberville for this year, and he’s having a nice year with Texas Tech.

You know, when you see how good Tubs’ defense is this year — like, 12th in the country — and how bad we’ve been on defense since he left, it makes you wonder how much he had to do with us being good on defense when Chizik was our coordinator.

Yeah, his coordinator down there, isn’t that Art Kaufman? The guy who stayed behind at Ole Miss when Tubs came here?

Kinda seems like good defense follows Tubs wherever he goes, and I miss our days with good defenses. That keeps you in games.

It would’ve been nice to actually be in the Texas A&M game last week, at least past the first quarter.

Man, 63-21: that should never happen here.

Dude, we’ve been saying “that should never happen here” every week this season.

(Enter pregnant pause and a reach for the last scraps on the serving plates and last cans in the cooler. Some plates just find their way into the trash bag.)

And can you believe how empty our stadium looked in the third quarter last week? Come to think of it, it seems pretty sparse around here today.

Gee, wonder why, with all of this pleasant conversation around.

Yeah, Jay Jacobs and Pat Dye, thanks for this!

Sports Columnist Joe Medley: 256-235-3576. On Twitter @jmedley_star.

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