Chuck Norris and the Town of Beast
by Gabe Marchal, age 15, Alexandria High
Oct 28, 2010 | 1265 views |  0 comments | 4 4 recommendations | email to a friend | print
One day Chuck Norris was born. He became a man at age 3 and began living on his own at age 5. Soon after, Chuck won money off a bet with the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs didn’t pay him.

Later on, Chuck joined the army in 1945 and offered to do a suicide mission, so he drank a Red Bull and jumped out of the Enola Gay into the city of Hiroshima. Chuck of course survived it.

Soon after, Chuck Norris found out about the town of Beast.

On the night of October 31, in the town of Beast, there was a man and a woman named Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey. The town was on the verge of chaos when the townspeople saw Chuck Norris’ third fist. Everyone shrieked in horror as it smashed Oprah Winfrey. Money spewed out everywhere. The people were frightened at first, but were soon happy as Chuck was nice enough to let the people collect the money.

Everybody chanted, “Thank you Master! Thank you Master!”

Chuck Norris, referring to himself in third person, said “Chuck Norris is king now!”

After the Battle of the Beast between Oprah and Chuck, the town rebuilt its kingdom under the leadership of King Chuck. King Chuck ruled with an iron fist, literally. Any peasant who opposed him got their soul snapped in half.

One day, the Army of Bruce Lee came and attacked Chuck Norris’ town of Beast. The two armies battled fiercely. They fought for several days. When Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee found each other, it was a battle of the roundhouse kicks to the face. Bruce Lee took the first blow, knocking him back a few yards. Then Bruce karate-chopped Chuck Norris in the face. Chuck was stunned, as he never had been hit that hard. He quickly recovered. The two went at it again. Bruce Lee ninja-kicked Chuck in the throat. It left Chuck gasping for air, and for the first time ever, he retreated.

“Chuck may retreat now, but Chuck will return stronger,” Chuck said.

Chuck left as Bruce emerged victoriously over Chuck. Everyone that didn’t die of shock was devastated as their leader retreated.

Bruce Lee claimed the village of Beast.

Chuck went to the planet Mars (that’s why there is no sign of life on Mars) and invented his own Martial Arts and began training himself in it.

He returned in May 1973, ready for another battle.

As Chuck approached the town, Bruce Lee was preparing, for he knew that Chuck would return. When Chuck got to the town’s gates, Bruce was waiting for him. They began battle. Chuck quickly tackled Bruce and brought him down. He put him in an arm bar, but Bruce escaped. Bruce tried to head-kick Chuck and missed. Chuck then roundhouse-kicked Bruce, and the fight was over.

Bruce was done, and the town of Beast belonged to Chuck Norris.

Chuck died later in the year 2012 on December 21.
Comments must be made through Facebook
No personal attacks
No name-calling
No offensive language
Comments must stay on topic
No infringement of copyrighted material


Friends to Follow



Most Recommended

Chuck Norris and the Town of Beast by Gabe Marchal, age 15, Alexandria High

Today's Events

event calendar

post a new event

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Marketplace