Arent People A Hoot?!!!
by DebraThomas
 Musings
Apr 20, 2012 | 4370 views |  0 comments | 35 35 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
I guess maybe its just me.  I wonder sometimes about the people that I seem to "attract." Out of nowhere people feel free to give me their opinion about things that I really have no control over, nor interest in, but yet they share their feelings. And not always are they the nicest feelings either. But I stand or sit there and listen. Here are two examples that come to mind. Sorry if I dont remember the exact names. Some days I dont remember my own.

I was in a local grocery store and I wrote my check, as usual. The cashier put it in the register and it kicked it back. And she tried again. And it kicked it back. Now am I the only person in the world that starts getting nervous and it seems as if time stands still when waiting on the receipt to come out or the APPROVED display to come up on the little thing you have to put your PIN in when using a card? It seems like I am having a heat stroke, dressed funny, having a severe acne breakout, and just all manner of things all at the time I am waiting on that darn APPROVED message, or the receipt to come out. Well, after 3 tries she had to call the manager who at the time must have been at the Georgia state line, because of the time it seemed to take for him to get to the register. I could hear sighs all the way back to the end of the line. I was so ashamed. Oh the shame!! Anyway, he punched in a lot of numbers and the thing cleared and I was on my way!! Yeah, Free at Last!! So I am taking my little cart of specials to the car when all of the sudden I hear someone walking fast behind me and saying, "Ma'm.  Ma'm.  Hey LADY!!!"  Well, I was in shock thinking, Oh my gosh, please tell me that I havent left the groceries on the counter, or my pants have fallen down to my waist or whatever, so I kept walking. Then finally the lady got in front of me and stopped my little grocery cart. She and her husband that is, stopped my cart.

To the best of my recollection, I think she said her name was Shirley Whitehead or something like that and I think she was from a neighboring county. She proceeded to tell me that this store carried the only bologna that her grandson would eat and he was allergic to peanuts and soy and so on.....and on.....and yes, on.  Well, I was concerned but also on my way to about 15 other stops that day, and it was about 100 degrees, so I was politely trying to get away. But she wasnt going to have any part of it. She and her husband and whom I suppose was her grandson, proceeded to follow me to the car. She also proceeded to tell me that if that episode with the check had happened to her, she would have told that cashier to take that receipt and that check and (sorry to be so crass but these are her EXACT words - and remember this is from a STRANGER)

"CRAM IT UP HER A$%^&*."

I stood there with my mouth open. I was absolutely speechless. I couldnt believe a stranger was telling me this. And in front of her grandson at that. And if that wasnt bad enough, she repeated it.

"Yep, I would tell her she could take that check and that receipt and Cram it up her A%^&*(."

I absolutely cant remember where I park my car half the time or where my keys are, but I can remember that lady and her speech and the look on her family's face as she said those words to me.

They didnt have a look as a matter of fact. Not one of shock. Not one of surprise. Just a look. As if she does this all the time.

She proceeded to tell me in great detail about the way the clerk had treated me and that it was just an embarrasment to me and she felt sorry for me and she wanted to tell me that. 

So now every time I have a clerk or anyone that makes me feel like I am in the wrong, I just silently say to myslef.....well you can just take that ____________ (whatever the item may be) and Cram It .......................

On another time out in public, my husband and I were eating dinner at a restaurant. The race was in town, and there was not a whole lot of choices in the evening time that were not crowded, so we wound up at a place we didnt normally frequent.

I am eating my dinner. Not even making eye contact with this lady nor her dinner companion. For some reason, she comes over to our table, and states her name, ( I think it was something like Stella Jones Williams or something like that, sorry if thats wrong) and out of nowhere she started telling us her story of this man she was with wasnt her husband. He was just someone she picked up at the races. She wasnt going home with him but he didnt know that, and she wanted a good dinner out. Ok. Nice.

But if that wasnt enough, I stopped eating my food, not because it was out of politeness, but because she had food being projected from her mouth, (it was corn I recall) and it was hitting my baked potato. Not much appetite after that.

So my husband, whom I love with all my heart, looks at me and says in front of the lady, "Debra, why do you attract strange people?"

Well what do you say to something like that? The lady finally went back to her date of the evening, and I just paid the bill and walked out with him after he finished his food.

So why may I ask do people share the strangest things with me?

I dont know. 

Maybe for the same reason they ask if I have a twin sister; if I have ever worked at _______ fill in the blank; do I know I have grey hair (yes, and its natural, not dyed).

I am an easy going person most of the time. But to answer the most asked question, yes. I do know I have grey hair. Actually its white. Its natural. Its mine. I like it this way, and dont care to color it. But thank you for bringing that to my attention.

Now, why dont these folks tell me something like,

Hey did you know that you have something in your teeth? Or that you have tucked your skirt into your pantyhose?

Folks, thats info I could actually use.

Thanks folks, you may be a little different than the rest of the world, but hey, you make my life more interesting.

And to my husband, dear, I have no idea why I attract the folks I do.

What attracted me to you? Hmmmmmm?
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