Routine
by BrianRobinson
 Kaleidoscopic
May 21, 2012 | 3123 views |  0 comments | 8 8 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
     Some autistic people are locked into strict routines.  There could be different reasons for this, from always knowing what comes next and therefore being prepared for it, to needing that locked order to get through the day, to a simple preference of having things nailed down and not loose to minimize any surprises which would be tough.  Going away from those routines can cause anything from slight discomfort to meltdowns.
     We're lucky that Xan can handle changes and differences.  Things do tend to go wrong, accidents happen, and I can't tell you how many times even vague plans of ours (wanna try to grab a bite to eat one day this week, say) have run aground on the rocky shoals of life getting its own way.  I suppose we COULD get into a minute-by-minute plan if we really had to, but I bet something would crop up to destroy it quickly.
     In terms of scheduling, we are free from routines.  But we are not free from routine things.
     Like Xan fighting sleep.  We put him to bed early most nights, reasoning if it takes him four hours to go to sleep. starting at seven equals an eleven o'clock bedtime - getting him up around six means seven hours sleep.  Not too bad.  But if we put him to bed at eleven and he finally wears down at three and then we get him up at six, that's not too good.  At the least he will be cranky as heck and not wanting to do things for himself which will make him mad when we won't help, and he may fall asleep during the day.  Like many kids, one hour of a nap in the afternoon seems to recharge him for the day, which means another late night.
     And there's being around to help Xander do things.  Here we have to be very careful we don't get into habit of doing things for him but make him do as much as the task as he an himself.  But we're usually around to help him if he really needs.  The flip side of this routine is we don't get much time to ourselves, always keeping an eye and ear out to see if he needs help.
     Of course, there's the usual guessing game of what he says.  A lot of times when he IS asking for something using his words, he talks so fast we can only pick out a few words.  And he still has trouble with similar sounds - b,d,p, etc.  'Cheese Toast' in his regular voice and speed sounds a lot like 'Cheetos'.  Did he say 'Party Time' or 'potty time'?  One's a DVD he likes, one is a sign that he's got some problems going on.  So that's pretty regular for us.
     One thing is sure, though - all of his routines make him special.  And some routine things for others are more than special for us.
     We don't take anything for granted, and little steps he makes as he grows take on magical and fantastic colors to us.  He's started being very choosy about what he wears.  I lay out some clothes for him to change into after school, and about twice per week he puts back what I choose and grabs something else.  That's probably pretty common for kids, but for us it was huge.  Independent thought and choice, getting things himself instead of making us do it, picking his particular wants himself...all a special move.
     He's very vocal about what music he wants to listen to.  Lucero's "I Can't Stand To Leave You" is a huge favorite of his, as is Avenged Sevenfold's "Bat Country" - and those are kinda different songs.  It's so great to see him make choices, ask for those choices, and rock back and forth in the car as his music plays.  Every parent has seen this routine...but for us it's never routine.
     Him being able to handle what the world throws at him, for the most part, is also fantastical to us.  There are days when we're happy and proud of him for not doing anything that caused troubles, like when we put Casper to sleep, when the pipe broke, when I had my knee surgery, all of them unscheduled and stressful.  But he handled them all mostly well, which was a huge help for us.  Others may expect that from their kids as a matter of course. 
     And so many more things that others may take for granted.
     Our routine is anything but, and some routine acts of his are miraculous.  
    
    
Mother
by BrianRobinson
 Kaleidoscopic
May 13, 2012 | 2020 views |  0 comments | 9 9 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
     Happy Mother's Day.

     Xan is very lucky to have Tracy as a mom.  Even in his most challenging times, by issues or attitude, she loves him unreservedly and completely.  While understanding his problems and struggles, she never lets him settle for less than his best - much as he tries to convince her too.  When exhausted after a long day at work, she always puts him to bed so they can have some time to themselves.  Even when sick - which she is today, continuing our trend of special days equaling problems - she takes care of Xan.  She always sets a great example of parenthood, giving Xan a support system unrivaled and a hard to reach example for me to follow.

     Even with all the extra struggles of Xan's autism and nonverbalness, she manages to be caring and patient.  It's hard to know what he thinks at times, but it's obvious he loves mommy and I think he knows he's lucky to have her.

     If for no other reason than to give him a break from me.

     Happy Mother's Day, Tracy.  You are an inspiration.  Even though Xan doesn't say it, he knows it.
Loss
by BrianRobinson
 Kaleidoscopic
May 07, 2012 | 1599 views |  0 comments | 17 17 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
     We had to put one of our cats to sleep Sunday.  He was seventeen years old - been with us for almost all of our married life.  It hurt.  We treat our cats like family, and to lose one is painful.
     Xan was with us at the vet's when it happened, in the room with us.  Babysitting isn't really an option, and I think he wanted to be there to say his goodbyes in his own way.  He gave Casper a little pet, and showing some empathy unusual in autistics, kissed mommy when she cried.  He did the same thing when our first cat died too - he understood she was hurting and wanted to help her.
     Don't think I wasn't crying, either, but as we all know, he prefers mommy and wants to make her happy.
     It's hard to know how autistic people understood death.  They see someone isn't there anymore, but do understand the sadness and the loss?
     If you're more than casually interested in autism, you've probably heard the name Carly Fleischmann.  If not, she's an autistic girl (teenager, I think) who was uncommunicative, but then started to type out thoughts and feelings in a deep and meaningful way.  In addition to the inspiration of her even being able to communicate, her writing is light-years above many adults making a living doing the same.  She is also able to relate how she feels and reacts to things that help other autistics and parents of autistics to perhaps get an idea of what they go through.
     (Perhaps - the saying is, if you've met one autistic person - you've met one autistic person)
     By a sad coincidence, she recently did a post on Facebook detailing how she's dealing with the death of a friend, and she said what we all feel when a loved one dies - she's sad, and it's not fair when some die.  A universal constant.  I've posted before of how Xan reacted at my mom's funeral, where he definitely showed his anguish.  
     Loss is change.  It goes from having someone around to them being gone.  But loss is also part of love - you have to care about someone to hurt when they hurt, or when you have to say goodbye.  And another part of love is strength to lose someone.
     We had to decide that Casper was suffering, and be strong enough to let him go instead of keeping him here so we didn't have to say goodbye.  It isn't fair, but it is.
     But loss doesn't have to be that drastic.  Xander is, little by little, getting more independent.  We still don't know if he could handle being by himself, but he is able to be more trusted to do some things now.  It isn't always easy but we try to make him do more - which always means we're losing him, little by little, with its benefits and sadness.
     It would be easier, sometimes, to just go along.  Do it for him, take the responsibility out of his hands.  Sometimes we do.  But more often than not, we have the strength to make him do something, to make him lose that dependency and get him stronger and pay for that change  in yells, fits. arguments, complaints, stress and troubles.
     Parents are used to this, making their child their own person and able to handle themselves so they can go out in the world and make their own way.  They suffer and have to be strong, all for the ultimate goal of losing their children from their home.  We're no different in that goal, but our particular trials and methods are much different.
     Saying goodbye, in all its forms, takes strength.   It hurts, and a lot of times all you can say, like Ms Carly did, is it isn't fair to have to suffer that way, either from being the target of anger for making someone do something on his own to letting a beloved cat going to its final sleep rest its head on your hand as he slips away.
     Loss is part of love, and the final payment for all those smiles and laughs you get from time spent with a loved one.
     RIP Casper. 
     
Normal
by BrianRobinson
 Kaleidoscopic
Apr 30, 2012 | 1565 views |  0 comments | 18 18 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
     The Oxford walk is over.  It was a bit more hectic than last year, and a couple of things went wrong, but the turnout was good and people seemed to have a good time.  Thanks to everyone who walked, special thanks to everyone who helped, and praise beyond words to my wife for setting this whole thing up and dedicating much of her time and efforts to it.  Now, life can get back to 'normal'.
     Along with the walk, Autism Awareness month is almost done.  Last day is today.  For many of you, this means one more charitable memory jogger is in the past and another to come.  Your life can get back to normal, if indeed it was even affected.
     Our comparative definitions of normal would be radically different.
     Xan woke up laughing like a loon at 4:15 this morning.  I have no idea why.  I've blogged many times of the mystery and frustration of his lack of communication - this is our normal.  But another part of that is his spontaneous joy over something I don't recognize.  There are certain catchphrases that will send him howling in glee - not all of them from kid's stuff.  Mystery Science Theater 3000 (one of our faves) gives him a lot of things to laugh about, things I wouldn't have guessed he would find funny or, really, understand.  (I mean, what ten year old really gets the humor of one character saying "We're all doomed!" and a puppet firing back "Oh, he's a Calvinist!")  Which could just be that what I find funny in something is not what he finds funny - something beyond what I get.
     I don't think in these cases it's something sensory - like, on the flip side, the way echoes will bother him and make him cover his ears.  (I once read that autistic people get signals from their different sides of the brain at different speeds - think about that and then add an echo in there)  I believe in some cases the humor is the same for both of us.  Other times, maybe it's a particular sound or inflection in the line, or maybe something in the background I don't notice but what makes all the difference to him that comes back to him when he hears the words again.  Or, perhaps one of the words reminds him of something else that made him laugh - the code words I've referred to in other posts.  Kinda like how one story, not that funny, can remind you of something else and make you laugh anyway. 
      Xan may have woken up and seen the shadows dancing on the wall, which reminded him of, maybe, Shadow from Bear in the Big Blue House.  Or it could have made him think of chasing daddy's shadow when he was younger.  The way they moved may have triggered happiness for some odd reason - the merging and coming apart, the odd and free formed shapes, the way they would blend into the dark around them and come back again, like water splashing in a constantly rotating waterfall.
      Sometimes it's very, VERY hard to see beyond the things that cause him troubles.  Since we want to fix what hurts him or makes him upset, those things are naturally what takes precedence and moves to the front of the line.  And, since a meltdown commands a lot more attention than laughing, they also stick in the memory longer, sometimes along with bruises.
     That is part of our normal now.
     What is also part of our normal is being amazed at how normal things to Xander can be wondrous, extraordinary, amazing, hilarious, hypnotizing, engrossing and full of more than what I can see or imagine.  His different normality.
     Our normal can be tough, but his normal can be fantastic.
Walk
by BrianRobinson
 Kaleidoscopic
Apr 26, 2012 | 1290 views |  0 comments | 8 8 recommendations | email to a friend | print | permalink
     Saturday, we have the walk!  Oxford Stadium, 8 AM to noon.  Come out and see us and support the Autism Society of Alabama.
     It's a 3K walk...even >I< can handle that.  (I think)  You can still sign up at this site, or when you come to the stadium. 
    We're going to have soft drinks and pizza for lunch, a bounce house for the kids, and other stuff too.  And once this gets done I may have some more time to get back on blogging. 
     Hope to see you there.

Today's Events
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Tuesday, 18, 2013
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Pond Spring- The Gener... 3:50 PM
Oxford Farmers market 12:00 AM to 11:59 PM
Join us for the kick-off of Oxford's first...
Oxford Farmers market 12:00 AM to 11:59 PM
Join us for the kick-off of Oxford's first...
Editorial: Schools on trial — In Anniston, improving education remains the ultimate goal
by The Anniston Star Editorial Board
Jun 18, 2013 | 28 views |  0 comments | 2 2 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Any cocoon of stability that may have surrounded Anniston Middle School is now shattered. Last month, after decades of debate, the Anniston Board of Education voted to close the school on Alabama 21 and move its students to other campuses as part of a system-wide reorganization and cost-cutting measure. Last week, Superintendent Joan Frazier announced her retirement for June 2014, meaning someone else — possibly from outside the system hierarchy — will shepherd the system through the middle school’s closure. And Tuesday, the state Board of Education included Anniston Middle on its list of “failing” schools that, as part of the Alabama Accountability Act, will allow parents zoned for AMS to receive tax credits if they transfer elsewhere. For the Anniston Board of Education, the state board’s list of 78 “failing” schools represents two different headlines — both significant. No other Anniston schools made the list. (For that matter, Anniston Middle was the only school in Calhoun County to be deemed “failing” by the state board.) Anniston High School, whose dropout and graduation rates have long been serious civic concerns, and the system’s five elementary schools are free of both the stigma and the practicality of being considered “failing” institutions. We are glad that’s the case. But the other headline didn’t bring a sigh of relief to a city desperate to use public education in its efforts to reinvent the city’s outlook on vital matters such as job creation, economic growth and crime reduction. A city without vibrant and well-supported public schools is a city that struggles to educate its children and sustain its future. A city without successful public schools is a city that faces stagnation and decline, not prosperity. That is Anniston’s struggle today. Our advice is to consider Anniston Middle School’s label as a “failing” school as part old news and part opportunity. Don’t overreact. Instead, see Anniston Middle as what it is — a school already destined for closure. That’s not a rationalization; it’s a fact. What’s important now is the system’s still-developing reorganization that, once completed, is expected to lessen the system’s fiscal concerns. More important, still, is this community’s understanding that the education of the children within Anniston’s public schools must be a grade-A priority. It is not the priority solely of the city’s educators or its black community, whose children are overwhelmingly the majority of the city’s schools. It must be a priority for all who want Anniston to prosper. Make no mistake: We are disappointed that the state considers Anniston Middle School a “failing” school. But we cannot lose focus on the larger, vital picture — the reinvention of Anniston’s school system and the improvement of its public education. The ailments are well known. Repairing them with hard work and rational decisions is the key.
Editorial: In Alabama, best path is to scrap this wishful policy
by The Anniston Star Editorial Board
Jun 18, 2013 | 5 views |  0 comments | 2 2 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Tommy Bice, the state’s superintendent of education, had the unenviable task Tuesday of carrying out a poorly conceived policy that, its authors assure us, is designed to raise the quality of Alabama public schools. Playing the good soldier, Bice produced a list of failing schools as defined by the so-called Alabama Accountability Act, the controversial law handed down earlier this year by Montgomery’s ruling Republicans. The strict definition of failing, Bice said Tuesday, meant he was “unable to remove a school from the list although they’ve shown improvement.” Sadly, that’s merely the start of the problems with this policy. As private school administrators from Calhoun County told The Star earlier this year, the law’s intent — allowing students in “failing” schools to transfer to a private school or better public school — almost certainly won’t work. The law’s tax credit — approximately $3,500 annually — won’t be enough to cover private school tuition. What’s more, private schools are balking at accepting state-administered scholarship dollars. Public schools are under no obligation to take transfers from failing schools. Several local districts have confirmed to The Star that they aren’t interested in taking on these new students. In Anniston and elsewhere across Alabama, there’s also the matter of a federal court order concerning desegregation that severely limits student transfers between public schools. All this adds up to a law that seems unlikely to have the intended effect. The shame is that Alabama’s public schools desperately need improvement. Of course, the 78 schools listed Tuesday as “failing” need help, but so does the entire state, especially when considering our ranking in national comparisons of student achievement. Perhaps the best path forward would be for the Legislature and the governor to scrap this policy’s wishful thinking and head back to the drawing board. Putting Alabama’s schools on the path to excellence will require a greater investment, in money, of course, but also in tougher standards for teachers and students.
Speak Out: The state of foreign missions
by our readers
Jun 18, 2013 | 11 views |  0 comments | 2 2 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Today, one assumes that much of our commerce and industry have gone overseas — primarily to China. We further assume that China is a nation of non-traditional religious values, living virtually in the Stone Age with hostile attitudes toward Christianity. It may surprise the Christian community that China is now the largest Bible publisher in the world. Amity Publishing in Birmingham recently opened a sprawling printing complex in Nanjing dedicated just to the Holy Bible and is scheduled to turn out 12 million Bibles per year. But the unique twist is that local Chinese caught with an Amity printed Bible do not face harassment and are at liberty to practice their Christian faith just as they would be in America. This is a remarkable feat accomplished by the missionary effort of the Christian community. By relocating and vastly expanding the publishing arm of the effort and making it a Chinese industry, worldwide missionaries have been able to establish themselves permanently and become accepted for what they are in the previously most obstinate mission field ever targeted. To say foreign mission work has come a long way in the past 40 to 50 years would be the understatement of the year. If only U.S. foreign missionary Lottie Moon, who starved herself trying to save hungry Chinese on the mission field, could know this feat today. James W. Anderson
Talladega
Speak Out: Come out for Field Day
by our readers
Jun 18, 2013 | 2 views |  0 comments | 2 2 recommendations | email to a friend | print
The Calhoun County Amateur Radio Association will hold its annual Field Day event from 1 p.m. Saturday until 1 p.m. Sunday at the Mike Tucker Park in Anniston near Weaver at the entrance to Chief Ladiga Trail. Field Day is sponsored nationally by the American Radio Relay League as a field operation for ham radio operators who provide emergency communications as well as a public demonstration of amateur radio activities. Community members and public officials are invited to stop by and learn more about amateur radio and the many facets of the hobby. There will even be a station for members of the public to operate on the air. For more information check the CCARA website at www.calcoamrdoascia.webs.com. Tracy A. Stephens
Anniston
A Taste of India: Cookbook author gives advice for beginning cooks
by Katie Turpen
kturpen@annistonstar.com
Jun 18, 2013 | 114 views |  0 comments | 5 5 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Sindhi Chicken Curry
Sindhi Chicken Curry
slideshow
Cooking an exquisite Indian dish may be a daunting task for beginning cooks who are overwhelmed at first glance of a lengthy list of ingredients and directions. While many people around the world enjoy the exotic and aromatic flavors of Indian food at restaurants and festivals, few seem to imagine re-creating the dishes at home. Indian cookbook author Suneeta Vaswani is working to change this misconception by sharing her wealth of experience and knowledge with people all over the world through her books and cooking classes. Vaswani believes all a beginner needs are some basic spices and cooking equipment to cook creative, inventive Indian cuisine. “The spices are addictive,” Vaswani said. “People slowly start to taste more and more dishes and they are hooked.” Vaswani was born in Mumbai, India, and moved to the United States in the late 1970s with her husband and children. She has been teaching the art of Indian cooking for more than 30 years and has published two Indian cookbooks. Vaswani says students and friends inspired her first cookbook, “Easy Indian Cooking.” “I had this collection of very simple recipes. My friends said you should write,” Vaswani said. “Once I got the idea, I was really driven. I made sure to pick the easiest ones for people to do.” The cookbook was originally published in 2004 but was updated in 2013 with 30 additional recipes and a new chapter on street food, which consists of sweet, salty and tangy snack foods usually topped with liquid chutneys and yogurt. “Street foods are unique,” Vaswani said. “They have a certain structure and texture even for Indian food.” To begin, Vaswani says a cook simply needs six basic spices, which are all available at local grocery stores. These six spices are powdered coriander, powdered cumin, cayenne pepper, turmeric, whole mustard seeds and whole cumin seeds. “Turmeric is receiving a lot of publicity lately,” Vaswani said. “It is used in hospitals around the country as a good supplement and is anti-bacterial.” In addition to these spices, Vaswani recommends two types of cookware. First, she recommends a medium-sized pan with a tight fitting lid and second, a wok that allows the vegetables to cook in their own juices and retain essential nutrients. “If you have a wok and a three quart pan with a tight-fitting lid, you can cook 50 different dishes,” Vaswani said. With a hot Alabama summer in full force, many locals are craving cool foods. To beat the heat, Vaswani suggests whipping together a savory yogurt dish called Lassi. “Yogurt blended with ice cubes can be made sweet with a little sugar,” Vaswani said. “You add powdered cumin and salt and pepper. The dish has a nice cooling benefit.” Another enticing dish is Raita, which consists of yogurt, cilantro, mint and variety of different vegetables and makes for an easy side dish. “Raita is the equivalent of the American green salad,” Vaswani said. “It is one of the most important meal accompaniments.” Vaswani notes that in Indian culture, people typically try to make more vegetable dishes in the summertime for health purposes. “We tend to eat a lot less meat during the summer,” Vaswani said. “We eat a lot of vegetables. It’s easier on the digestive system.” As an experienced culinary artist and teacher, Vaswani has created and tasted a variety of delicious dishes from her home. However, her favorite dish is the featured Sindhi Chicken Curry, a flavorful north-Indian style dish. Vaswani, who recently moved back to Mumbai, believes that interest in Indian food has increased since she first came to the United States. She is happy to share the unique dishes of her home with any adventurous cooks who are ready to experiment with innovative, unique flavors. “When we arrived in the late ’70s, there was less interest in Indian food,” Vaswani said. “Now, everybody is traveling. People around the world are always looking around for new things.” SINDHI CHICKEN CURRY

Serves 8 This is the quintessential north Indian-style chicken curry with onion and tomato-based gravy. It is a simple home-style version, but the amazing flavors and bright, appetizing color make it suitable for company as well.

12 skinless bone-in chicken thighs, about 4 pounds
1 cup plain nonfat yogurt, at room temperature
1 teaspoon cornstarch
2 tablespoons oil
2 cups finely chopped onions
1 tablespoon minced, peeled ginger root
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon minced green chiles
1 tablespoon coriander powder
1½ teaspoons cumin powder
¾ teaspoon turmeric
¾ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 can (28 ounce) tomatoes, chopped, including juice
½ cup cilantro, chopped
2 teaspoon salt, or to taste
1½ teaspoon garam masala
¼ cup cilantro, chopped, divided Rinse chicken and pat dry. Stir together yogurt and cornstarch until smooth. Set aside. In a large saucepan with a tight-fitting lid, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add onions and sauté until beginning to color, 6 to 8 minutes. Reduce heat to medium and sauté until dark golden, 10 to 12 minutes longer. Stir in ginger, garlic and chile. Sauté for 2 minutes. Increase heat to medium-high. Add chicken and brown well, 6 to 8 minutes. TIP: This dish freezes very well in an airtight container for up to 4 months. Thaw in refrigerator overnight. Reheat on low heat. Sprinkle with garam masala and cumin powder. Cover and let stand for 2 to 3 minutes to allow the aroma of the spices to infuse the curry. Transfer to a serving dish and sprinkle with chopped cilantro before serving.
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