This past week I kicked off my last thirty-something birthday, and I am now living out the 40^th year of my life on my way to the big 4-0.  You see, I was reminded by a friend that I have completed 39 years so I’m actually living my 40^th year, and although this is technically true, I’m still going with 39 if anyone asks about my age.  Call me sentimental, but I think this is a very good tradition, and one I have no intention of fighting.  I’m even thinking of staying 39 a little bit longer.  You know, as in being 39 for another 20 years or so.  I know at least one person who has been able to pull it off successfully.  Eh. Ok. Maybe not.

These past few days, echoes from my past have come to visit me; advice I was given, things I said about “old people.”  Some of these things are somewhat comforting, and others not so much. 

“Whatever you’re doing when you’re 40 you’ll likely be doing the rest of your life.”  Looking around the day it was told to me, it caused me to look forward on the timeline.  What would I be doing when I was 40?  Would I really want to be doing whatever that happened to be for the rest of my life?  Ah, worry about that one later.  I’ve plenty of time. Today: (gulp)

“Never write a book until you’re 40.  Whatever you would write before then will seem immature to your experienced 40-year-old self, and you’d wish you could go back and change it with your mature perspective on life.” This advice was given by  a published writer.  I thought it was good advice at the time, but when I told it to someone else they said, “Hogwash.  Just write.  You can go back and change anything anytime you want when you get older.”  I guess the thought that a reputation for bad writing because you were too immature never occurred to this guy, and come to think of it, he was never published and I don’t see any of his writings anywhere.  At all.

 “Before 40 you will be productive, but even babies are very productive yet we don’t really congratulate them for it.  We tend to throw most of it away with our noses cringed.  The years between 40 and 60 will be the most effective of your life.  It’s far better to be effective than just merely very productive.”  That baby analogy really hit home when I had kids.  Children are, at the very least, VERY productive on any scale and on a number of different levels.  They can be so very productive at the most inappropriate moments.  At least mine have been, and the truth is, I know a lot of young people and twentysomethings that would also fit the description of “very productive, but not so very effective”.  I wonder why that is exactly, and then I wonder why all the 40 year old effective-productive people don’t get a medal for it.  I mean, come on.  Someone should start a business giving medals to anyone who hits the big 4-0.  I’ll be ready to pick up mine sometime around this time next year.  Keep me posted.

“When you hit 40 you lose your eyesight.  One day you can read labels and fine print perfectly fine, and the next day you’re reading everything holding it at a distance.”  I must admit, this is another one that I never really understood.  How can holding something farther away make it easier to read, especially if it is fine print?  Well, low and behold, I know exactly how that works now.  I’m not even actually 40 yet, and I’m wondering who flipped my switch a little early on this one, but it’s true.  I suddenly noticed just the other day that the date on a penny is far easier to read when I hold it farther away, and that’s when the echo came to me.  That was one I really didn’t see coming.

So, here I am, 39 years gone by and technically on my 40^th year.  Someone flipped my switch on the eyesight thing a little early, but that’s ok.  I’ve still not actually written a book yet, but there is one in the works, and I guess it is something I can look forward to doing over the next decade or so.  I still don’t know about the whole “career” thing as I don’t know if I actually have what most would consider a career, so the jury is still out on that one.  I’m hoping I get a double dose of whatever it is that kicks in on the effective-productive angle, and that’s another one I won’t mind taking a little early either.  As for the medal, just hold on to it for me.  I’m not quite ready to put “one foot in the grave” just yet, nor am I ready to roll “over the hill” right at the moment.

That day will come, but until then, I’m going to enjoy staying thirtysomething “ahhhhhhhh, just a little bit longer.” (cue the music)

At various times in life people seem to get around to questions like, "Who am I?  Why am I here? What is my purpose? Why did God create me?"  These are great questions, and in exploring them people have found purpose and fulfillment in life.  The problem is, I don't think it happens to enough people, and truth be told, I'm not really all that sure very many people ever get there.  The reasons we do not get there can be varied, but on the whole I think there is one in particular that will ring true for more than most.

I've been on a spiritual walkabout this past year.   I had felt the Lord pulling on my heart for quite some time when finally I resigned my position at my home church in March, and after finishing out the year for transitional reasons, I left my home church in December 2011.  I thought I would immediately begin the task at hand that I had felt the Lord put on my heart, but something happened.  It was as though I had been running full steam as fast as I could in one direction, and then suddenly the power went out in my life.  It reminded me of a time in school when a lot of the kids in class were being too noisy and the teacher could not get their attention.  Instead of getting loud, she walked over and turned off the lights in the classroom.  The class obliged her by immediately going silent and looking around.

That's how I felt spiritually, too.  There was all this noise and commotion in my spiritual life.  I was all about getting things done, moving to the next task, and working feverishly to finish to begin the next.  The leap had been made out of my home church to begin something new once again, and in all the noise that was going on in my spiritual life, God turned out the lights.  I stopped everything I was doing, and everything went silent.  Then, in the deafening silence, came the questions, and to help me answer them came The Accuser.

The Accuser pointed to everything I had ever done bad in my life.  Every sin, every improper thought, and every selfish motivation was brought front and center to my attention.  Than came the last questions  "How could God ever use someone like you?  After what you have done, how could you ever even think God would ever use you?"

I must admit, I was thrown.  For so long I had been going through the motions of what I thought a Christian should do, it never occurred to me that maybe I was not qualified for doing these things in the eyes of my God.  Shame filled my heart, and I began to search deeper into the depths of my soul for answers, for something in me knew that The Accuser had only painted an incomplete picture of my life.

Months passed as I wandered in what felt to me like a spiritual desert.  My family and I visited church after church, but to be honest, in nearly every one of them I merely saw mirror images of myself.  Hollow people without purpose, saved by grace and on the way to heaven, but only present in church to fulfill some internal obligation or pressure of guilt.  Some wore masks of smiles and expressed joy with words and expressions, but I found very few with the internal joy and peace that radiates from them and fills a room.

As I visited churches, I was not sure where all this was going.  I was so sure of what God's plan was for my life at one time.  I had all the right plans and all the right intentions, but now I stood wondering why the lights went out.  As time passed, even The Accuser had fallen silent.  Months went by, and then at a moment when I felt I was most alone in my spiritual wilderness, God began to speak once again to my heart.  This time, in complete silence, I was able to really listen.

I was reminded that I am God's son.  As God's son I am here because God desires a relationship with me.  My purpose in life is to simply be God's son, and enjoy that relationship with Him.  In the end, He created me to be myself, and no one else.  If I would simply do that, then I would accomplish God's purpose for my life.  God then took me back to the picture of my life painted incomplete by The Accuser.  I did not want to go there.  I resisted.  I tried to look away, but when I walked upon that picture, I realized God had finished the incomplete painting of my life.   From corner to corner and top to bottom it was covered solid in red, for the blood of Christ had covered it all.

As I looked upon my life God spoke.  "Where is your Accuser now?"   There was silence.  I now see that my life had always been one of Christian busy-ness, and one that almost always neglected my relationship with God.  It turns out, this also is the answer for the problems people face in life.  Trying to do what is right is not the answer to what is wrong.  Getting back in a relationship with God should be our first priority.  When that happens to an individual, personal revival is the result.  When it happens to a congregation, church revival is the result.  When it happens to a nation, a great awakening will occur.

Working at a job site, I often need to get into an attic space via a storage room.  This almost always requires me to use a stepladder, and then transition from the ladder laterally to the attic space.  I've done it before.  In fact, I've done it lots of times on lots of job sites.  On a day earlier this week though, something went wrong.  During the transition from the ladder to the attic space, I felt as if the earth had been jerked out from underneath me, and I fell.  It wasn't a slow-motion event, or one where I knew just before I fell what was about to happen.  One second I was standing firm, the next I was in open air falling.  It all happened faster than the blink of an eye.

Looking back, it must have been comical to watch.  I felt like Wile-E-Coyote after he had chased Road Runner just a little to far and now found himself flapping like a bird.  When I fell, I immediately reaching out for anything to catch myself, but before I could even worry about it, I had hit the ground.  I fell 8 feet in total, and a fall from 6 feet can be deadly or cause serious injury.  The person I was with was quite worried and kept asking me if I was alright.  I got up, checked myself over, noted some scrapes that would definitely turn to bruises, but generally felt fine.

Maybe it was the adrenaline flowing, but I was able to get back on the ladder, get into the attic space, and walk the rest of the job site to complete the survey.  When I got back to my car about 90 minutes after my fall, I had a call come in that had gone to voice mail.  It was someone calling just to touch base with me, and to let me know they had been praying for me.

I'm not going to go super-spiritual and say that they were praying for me at the exact moment I fell, but I have no doubt it was God's protection that kept this family man out of the hospital or worse.  Truth is, getting that call simply reinforced my faith in in the power of prayer, and it also reminded me of one very important lesson regarding prayer for other people.

When God lays someone on your heart to pray for them, you may think you know them well enough to know where they are, what they are doing, and how things are in their life.  However, that may not always be the case.  In fact, unless the person is there with you when you pray, you have no idea what they might be facing in just that moment.  At that moment when you pray, they may have just received some very bad news you may or may not ever hear about, or they may be about to come into harms way and never see it coming.

We all need others who care enough to pray for us.  How often has someone drifted into your mind and you thought to pray for them?  You simply do not know what someone else might be facing at that moment, or what they will be facing later that day.  Take a moment to think of who might be praying for you, and then take another moment to pray.