When the For Sale sign went on my motorcycle, the first thing my daughter asked me was, “Are you going to sell your motorcycle?”  It was not a question of if, but more a question of why.  I explained to her that I did not need the motorcycle anymore, and that we needed the money more than I wanted to keep the motorcycle around.  I could tell she was sad about the whole thing, so I offered to take her for a ride.  She became very enthusiastic.  I went and got the helmets, and off we rode through the back roads of Jacksonville and eventually ended up on Hwy 204 headed into town.  It wasn’t a planned trip, but it was fun, and instead of just heading home, we went to a local restaurant to get some hamburgers.

Just being with my daughter on this impromptu date was fun for her and me.  We had ridden together on the motorcycle together before, and as we ate hamburgers and fries, she recalled the different times, places we went, and things we did together.  For the most part, we hadn’t done anything spectacular, no pictures had been taken, there were no main events, but I began to realize a couple of things: first, just being with my daughter is an event all its own, and second, this little girl is growing up fast.

At the restaurant, she did all the talking.  Stopping occasionally to ask questions on some point she was unclear on, and sometimes taking a bite of food, she rambled on for many minutes, and I just listened to her talk.  It’s amazing to see what a child takes in, their perceptions on things that have happened, and how they can come to some pretty amazing conclusions all on their own.  She talked about stuffed animals and friends as though they were both an equal part of the world, and in her world I am sure they are.  She talked about riding a bicycle, and how it is a lot like riding a motorcycle, except for all the things that are different, which she began to name.

As I looked at her and listened and watched, I began to wonder what kind of future is she going to have.  Who will she marry?  That thought reminded me of a story a preacher told about his wife who was busy praying one day.  The preacher asked his wife what she was praying about and she said she was praying for a Godly husband for their daughter.  The preacher thought this odd since their daughter was not yet 5 years old, but then his wife added, “Somewhere, there are parents raising a young man who will one day become the husband of our daughter.  I’m praying for all of them.”  That’s when the preacher knelt down beside his wife and also began to pray.

Since that time, I have begun praying for the future husbands of both of my daughters.  As we wrap up our little lunch, I wonder if there are parents out there with a little boy, possibly praying for me and my wife and my daughter.  I wonder if they have the same concerns about this world and a future for their children as I do, and if they care as much about raising their children right.

As I parked the motorcycle on the driveway, and though the motorcycle is still technically for sale, I took the For Sale sign off.  Not because I didn’t want to sell it anymore, but for some reason I found I just didn’t want to sell it as badly as I used to.

Reposted from www.MenRising.com

When I was a kid, a conversation that would come up once in a while had to do with our five senses, and which one we could do without, and which ones we felt we absolutely had to have.  Eventually, the list would be narrowed down to a choice between sight and sound.  If you had to lose one of them, which would you choose?  Unanimously, everyone said they would rather lose their sense of hearing over their ability to see, because while hearing is critical, a lack of sight would keep you from doing so many more things.

Most people would be devastated to lose their sight.  No more golden sunrises or sunsets.  No more reading books, at least not the way you’re used to reading them.  Movies would be left up to your imagination.  The faces of your children would be impressions of your hands on them.  So much of what we discover and experience in life comes from our sense of sight.  It would be a very difficult thing to lose.

Vision, however, is not just what we see right now.  Vision is the ability to see what is coming before it gets here, to see potential problems, as well as the ability to see the potential of what could be.  Before every great development, invention, new product, or new experience we have, there is the flicker of an idea in the imagination that slowly emerges as a vision of a future that could be.  That vision shapes everything, creates motivation, focuses energies, and makes things happen.

As the leader of your home, what is your vision for your family.  Maybe you have not given this a lot of thought, but you should.  What kind of relationship do you see between you and your wife 5, 10, 25 years from now?  What kind of relationship do you see yourself having with your kids when they are grown and married?  What about your grandchildren?  What will it take to get there?

I do not personally know of anyone who ever married for the pure motive of getting a messy divorce, ripping their family apart, and destroying a good relationship – but it happens.  I also do not know any parent who purposefully raised their kid to be a drunk, a drug abuser, or someone who breaks the law and lands in jail for the sole motivation of being able to go bail them out of jail at night, sending them to a rehab clinic, or seeing the lives of their children destroyed – but this also happens.

I feel that part of the problem is the inability of these people to see the end-game of their actions.  The other part of the problem is that they never had a concrete vision of the future they really wanted, or that if they did, then they never had a road map to take them there.  Without such a vision, many things are left to chance, or even the selfish vision of someone else.  You wouldn’t build a house without a blueprint, so why try to build a home without one?

By home I am not referring to the sticks and blocks that make a house, I am talking about the decisions you make now that can have long-term effects.  Setting standards, having rules that have consequences when they are broken, and saying no to things that do not promote or further the vision you have for your family.  That kind of vision provides a focus that is very powerful, because it makes so many other decisions easier.

Reposted from www.MenRising.com 8/10/2011 post

Talking with a friend who had just witnessed to someone days earlier, he related the story of how he talked with the young man about Jesus, and about how the young man had responded that he didn’t believe in Christianity, and that everyone who called themselves a Christian were just a bunch of hypocrites anyway.  As he went on to tell the story, my mind was stuck on that singular stinging indictment of all Christendom.  Whether we like it or not, what the world sees when they look at Christianity today is not Christ, but a bunch of hypocrites who think they are better than everyone else.

Typically, Christians tend to react defensively to this.  When the world points out all the atrocities and horrors inflicted in the name of Christianity, we like to point out all the good things people have done in the name of Christ.  There are arguments and pointed examples for both sides to be sure.  There is also a tendency to point out that there are “real” and “fake” Christians, and that it is all the “fake” Christians out there who live ungodly lives that are giving the good Christians (like yourself) a bad name.

Think about that last sentence for a moment.  Go back and read it again if you need to.  In making that argument, have we not just clarified in the mind of the world that “Christians think they are better than everyone else.”

Step back from the scene for a moment and try to imagine how God sees it all.  The world is full of sin and sinners, and you and I are no exceptions.  From the Bible to the laws of men and even the internal mechanisms we all adhere to for a standard of right and wrong, we all, Christians and non-Christians alike, say we believe in a code of right and wrong and yet fail to live up to that standard whatever it may be.  We try to do what is right, but we often fail.  That makes all of us hypocrites.

Where the world sees a difference is that Christians don’t own that.  The world knows and understands, and even accepts that they do wrong.  Christians on the other hand are so busy trying to live a right life that they sometimes get consumed with it, and in that pursuit they see they are doing right things more than they were before and that can lead some to elevate themselves above others as a people who are better than others.  Going to church, reading your Bible, praying, and living a good life are all good things, but they do not make you better than anyone: Isaiah 64:6 ” . . . and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags . . .”

So how to respond when someone calls you a hypocrite?  Just own it.  It’s true, but understand we are all hypocrites.  Just because you go to church and try to live a right life does not make you better than anyone else.  Also understand, that Christ did not love you because you were good, Christ loved you because you needed to be loved.  Without His love, there would be no salvation.  The lost person who calls you hypocrite needs to see that love that Christ loved you with.  Even though you are not perfect, and even though you are a hypocrite who struggles to do right and often may fail to make the mark, you can still show the love of Christ.

Reposted from www.MenRising.com 8/1/2011