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This is a story about "It."

That seemingly ubiquitous thing everyone is talking about. Some are even doing "It," sharing their stories of conquest or submission in hushed tones so that adults can't hear because they wouldn't understand — or simply cannot remember — the powerful sway "It" has over the minds and bodies of young people.

"It" of course, is sex.

From TV ads to Internet pop-up windows, suggestive song lyrics to shopping mall billboards, America's collective consciousness seems obsessed with sex. Imagery that was once resigned to the covers of cheap romance novels and adults-only magazine hidden behind convenience store counters has become so common as to be overlooked.

Sex is everywhere. And young people are giving in to their natural, carnal desires.

In an average day, at least 7,000 American teenagers experience sexual intercourse for the first time, according to Mark Regnerus author of Forbidden Fruit, Sex & Religion n the Lives of American Teenagers.

"Nearly every human being finds his or her way to it eventually but few have by age 13 and most have before the age of 20," writes Regnerus, who is also the assistant professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin. "Without analyzing any data on adolescent sex, it is obvious that something significant is going on … to make sexual intercourse attractive enough that roughly one-third to one half of all young Americans try it for the first time between the ages of 16 and 18."

In fact, studies by the Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization that focuses on sexual and reproductive health, found that 46 percent of 15-19 year olds in the United States have had sex at least once, with most young people having sex for the first time around the age of 17.

Andrew Curry, an 18-year-old senior at Talladega High School, can walk into the boy's bathroom at any time and it doesn't matter if it's 9th graders or seniors, sex is the one and only topic of conversation.

"It's all they talk about," he says with an embarrassed grin, "who they've been with or want to be with or are trying to get with. It's all sex.

"Most of 'em are lying but still … it's always on their minds."

But sex doesn't dominate the waking lives of all teens.

"To me there's just more important stuff," Curry says. "My father always told me that sex before marriage was a sin, and the Bible says that the wages of sin is death, so sex to me is something very special. I've decided to wait and share that with someone special.

"Sex for some people sex is like dating … just too easy."

There are those, like Curry, who avoid sex, who abstain — either out of faith, fear or lack of opportunity. These are the virgins — a term that often elicits pride in adults and ridicule from peers.

And yet it's the one thing that unites everyone — all races, all religions, all nationalities, men and women, gay and straight. We are all born innocent, pure and naοve. We are all born virgins.

But what exactly is virginity?

"Virginity is a mindset," Curry says. "It's about keeping your mind, your spirit and your body pure. So to me, saying 'I'm a virgin' means, along with everything else, that I'm trying to stay emotionally pure and spiritually pure."

Virginity is as distinctly a human notion as philanthropy, as love. It's an abstract idea so meaningful that we've organized our lives and our culture around it; built it into our religions, our laws, our art, our definitions of marriage and woven it into our very concepts of self, writes Hanne Blank, author of Virgin: The Untouched History.

"And we have done all this without actually being able to define it consistently, identify it accurately or explain how and why it works," she says. "By any material reckoning, virginity does not exist. Like justice or mercy, we can only determine that it exists at all because of the presence of its side effects.

"And for as long as the notion of virginity has existed at all, it's parameters have been controversial and more often than not, vague."

On the surface, defining virginity is easy because it's based on sex, or lack thereof. So a virgin is someone who hasn't had sex. But this, of course, begs yet another question — What is sex?

How the word is defined depends so often on what teens are either trying to talk themselves into or out of, says Tom Robertson, HIV coordinator for the Alabama Department of Public Health.

"Technically, clinically, a virgin means an intact hymen — no penal/vaginal intercourse — that's what society says and it's always referring to the female," Robertson says. "The male is simply waiting for an opportunity. The burden, the responsibility of being a virgin falls to the female.

"That leaves a lot of gray area for other activities."

What about homosexuals and lesbians or women who are raped? What about anal sex or oral sex? Are those who engage in oral sex still considered virgins?

"All sex is sex," says 17-year-old Hannah Penny, president of Oxford High School's chapter of the Focus Program, a state-wide, student-led organization that promotes prevention of at-risk behaviors while encouraging sexual responsibility. "To some kids, oral sex isn't sex, it's like a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card — a way to have sex but still call themselves virgins."

In a recent study on teens' perceptions about sex published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, more than 83 percent of young people, ages 12-16, said a person was still a virgin if he or she participated in genital touching and 70 percent said they believed girls and boys keep their virginity if they participate in oral sex.

"A large portion of young people believe even an intimate level of sexual contact is abstaining from sex and being a virgin," says Melina Bersamin, lead author of the study. "Perhaps the overarching message is that there are different meanings associated with terms such as 'have sex,' abstinence and virginity."

So often the meaning behind words depends on ones perspective. Such is the concept behind arguably one of the most revered words in America's morality debate — virginity.

"We value the word and not the deed," Robertson says. "We've lost that. It's not what virginity means to your friends, your family or your church that matters. It's only what it means to you."

But when it comes to sex — in every school and in every grade — perceptions are as different as the students who defend them, Robertson says.

"If I sit down and ask kids 'What is sex?' or 'What's a virgin?' if there are 25 kids, they'll be 25 different answers," he says. "As a society, we throw that word out — 'virgin' — thinking it means the same thing to everybody. But when their ideas and ours don't match up, they stop paying attention."

When she was younger, 17-year-old Chante'lle Robinson admits she had a wild side, sneaking out of the house, experimenting and "kissin' dudes left and right," says the Talladega High School senior.

"It was nothing serious — never had sex or nothin' — just wasn't being too smart," she says.

But then Robinson turned 13 and decided to change her ways before it led to trouble. She eventually confessed everything to her parents, who assumed she was having sex — a misconception that wounded her deeply, as though she'd somehow betrayed their trust.

"I'm a really hard-headed person, so I decided to remain a virgin mostly because so many people said I couldn't," she says. "I wanted to prove them wrong."

And thus far, she's done just that, deciding to remain a virgin until marriage. But such decisions come with consequences.

Though Robinson's virginity doesn't necessarily keep her locked in a porcelain tower, she rarely dates for fear of getting too emotionally involved and isn't invited to many parties — not that she spends her night alone her room. Robinson loves to sing, loves her church and has many friends who share her beliefs about sex and marriage.

Still, she thinks that the images of virgins — as geeks, snobs or prudes — are unfair.

"Being a virgin doesn't make me arrogant or better than anybody else," she says. "It just means that I'm not doing what most everybody else is doing. It's a choice, to guard my body and my heart.

"You can be a virgin and still be cool."

As a star linebacker on the Talladega High School football team, Curry is often confronted with temptation, especially during those wild parties after the game.

"Oh I stay away 'cause there's all kinds of sex up in there," he says. "Nothin' but trouble. And the more you're around it the harder it is to stick to what you believe.

"So I just walk away and that's something I'm proud of."

If put on the spot and forced to guess, Hannah Penny believes that "at least" half of the 235 seniors at Oxford High School are sexually active.

"I just don't think our generation puts its virginity on a pedestal," she says.

And yet society as a whole places incredible value on its self-imposed idea of virginity. But as long as teens are expected to navigate through the confusing transition into adulthood, all the while being tested and taunted by the barrage of sexual imagery, virginity will continue to be meaningful, Blank says.

"No matter where our changing culture takes us," she says, "as long as sex is important in the slightest, virgins and virginity will continue to matter profoundly to us."

Sex before marriage

By age 20:

77 percent of respondents had sex,

75 percent had premarital sex,

12 percent had married.

By age 44:

• 95 percent of respondents (94 percent of women, 96 percent of men, and 97 percent of those who had ever had sex) had had premarital sex.

• Even among those who abstained until at least age 20, 81 percent had premarital sex by age 44.

Coming next week: Time to wait — Virginity should never be taken lightly