Let’s create the best high school football uniform in Calhoun County.
Our Best Uni In Calhoun County must start with Wellborn’s simplicity: No funky stripes, no mismatched color schemes, no monochrome mess, nothing overtly trendy. The best uniforms must exude class and hint at tradition. Wellborn does that.
Pleasant Valley has guts — any team that will wear baby blue is secure in its own skin. Your color is your color. Follow the Raiders’ example and wear it proudly.
The Best Uni In Calhoun County must be iconic, instantly recognizable. Here we’ll draw from Oxford and Alexandria, the black-and-gold and the orange-and-black, never changing. It’s impossible to misidentify the Jackets and Cubs, two teams whose unis are as consistent as the morning sun.
Striking colors are a requirement; no chocolates or muaves or eggplants allowed. If black isn’t one of your official colors, don’t wear it. The blue of White Plains and the red of Ohatchee fit the bill — vibrant, elegant, unmistakable.
Saks’ contribution to the Best Uni In Calhoun County is its subtlety, the gray accents the Wildcats pair with their main colors, red and white. Nicely done, indeed.
Every man should have two suits, black and blue, and every team needs a home and road uni. The Best Uni In Calhoun County is no exception. Piedmont’s best road look — blue helmets, white jerseys, yellow pants — is contrast personified, perfect.
Up top, Jacksonville sports the county’s best helmet combination: elegant gold, traditional striping, old-English “J” logo. That is how you incorporate three elements into a single, striking image.
And, finally, the Best Uni In Calhoun County must have a helmet logo that personifies the team’s personality. Are any better than Anniston’s snarling bulldog or Jacksonville Christian’s lightning bolt?
Like college football beforehand, fashion for high school teams is no longer mind-numbingly boring. With the Nike-fueled Oregon Ducks leading the way, college football has become a fall Saturday fashion show. It’s true: Fans now want to know what teams are wearing — the black-for-black’s-sake uni, the all-gray uni, the special alternate uni, the chrome helmet — as much as who is playing.
Bear Bryant, rest his soul, might be turning over in his grave.
In truth, it is big business for the uniform manufacturers and the schools. Likewise, it’s huge in recruiting — which, in essence, is the courtship of 18-year-old boys who are all about the bling. If you think coaches don’t hype their uniform prowess — “Come play for us, son, and you’ll get to wear THIS!” — then you don’t know much about modern-day college football.
(Of course, that says nothing of schools like Alabama, Auburn, Penn State and USC who have two uniforms, home and away, and they haven’t changed much since God made dirt. But that’s an entirely different discussion.)
The Best Uni In Calhoun County, whatever it is, is an appreciation of the aesthetics of today’s game. It’s a beautiful sight to behold.
Phillip Tutor is The Star’s commentary editor.