Our dishwasher is old. Our dishwasher is noisy. You can’t run the dishwasher and take a shower at the same time. The soap dispenser cover no longer latches, so it’s a hit-or-miss proposition as to whether the soap will actually be used — much like when my son takes a shower.

A new dishwasher is just one of many projects on our home improvement to-do list. But every time the dishwasher gets near the top of the list, something comes along to bump it back down.

Just this month, when the air-conditioner man came out to perform an annual maintenance check, he discovered that part of the ductwork in the attic should be rebuilt.

But since the AC is working — granted, not as efficiently as it could, but it is working — that chore will be added down near the bottom of the list.

Currently, the list looks like this:

10. Clean out the basement. (This has a permanent position here at the bottom of the list.)

9. Put up wall hooks in the utility room. I am tired of tripping over piles of kid stuff on the floor. I am tired of having to hang things on doorknobs. (The sad part is, this chore was actually crossed off the list back in the fall. But the hooks fell off the wall the first time my son hung up a backpack loaded with schoolbooks.)

8. Oh yeah, that reminds me, the towel rack in the bathroom fell off the wall the other day.

7. Put those rubber anti-skid feet thingies on the couch so it will stop sliding all over the living room. (Eventually this will annoy me so much that it will move immediately to the top of the list.)

6. Replace ceiling fan on screen porch. (We really don’t need to replace the whole fan, just the fan blades. I stumbled across a package of replacement fan blades at the hardware store. I broke a screwdriver drill bit getting one of the old fan blades off only to discover that the new fan blades didn’t fit. So I need to go online and try to find replacement blades that will fit, which means I need to get the ladder and climb up and find the brand and model number of the fan, or we buy a whole new fan, which I’m not sure we can install ourselves …. Oh, forget it, I’m moving this down to the bottom of the list.)

5. Install those new wall lights I bought at IKEA a month ago.

4. Set up the computer backup drive I bought a year ago. (Come to think of it, my computer has been acting funny lately. I better move this to the top of the list before all my files and photos disappear.)

3. Buy a new computer printer. The old one died while I was trying to print out a gift certificate for Father’s Day. (I am hoping I can put this one off until the back-to-school tax-free sales weekend.)

2. Buy a new basement dehumidifier. The old one died last week, just before summer humidity hit with a vengeance. Could I count this as a school supply and buy it during tax-free weekend?

1. Fix the leak in my son’s shower. This must be accomplished immediately because until it is, my son is taking showers in MY bathroom.