Has anybody seen my Coke?
There is supposed to be a Coke out there with my name on it. This summer, Coca-Cola personalized the labels on its plastic bottles with 250 different names.
My name is supposed to be on a Coke bottle, but I haven’t found it yet.
It’s usually easy to find stuff with my name on it. “Lisa” was the most popular girls’ name the year I was born. I could always find a personalized key ring, or bracelet, or coffee mug.
My husband has an even more common name, and yet there is no Coke bottle for Bob. There is a Coke bottle for Bobby, but don’t ever call my husband “Bobby.”
My daughter’s name isn’t even on the list of available Coke bottles. Nadia got a Coke bottle. Stephanie got a Coke bottle, even though her name hardly even fits on the label. Sara AND Sarah got Coke bottles.
My son’s name isn’t on the list, either. He has an uncommon name — an old family name — but it could have been so much worse. We seriously considered naming him after one of my husband’s ancestors, a tough old bird whom family legend holds was shot eight times in a Civil War battle and lived to tell the tale, only to hightail it into Oklahoma Territory afterwards and disappear forever. His name was Jehu Kirksey.
My son couldn’t care less that there is no Coke bottle with his name on it. He’ll drink anybody’s Coke.
I have only bought a couple of Cokes since this promotion started. (I’m more of a Dr Pepper girl, plus I’m at the age where I really shouldn’t drink sugar.)
It was surprisingly difficult to buy a product with someone else’s name on it. I couldn’t drink Vic’s Coke. Vic is my friend.
I couldn’t drink Paige’s Coke, either, although I don’t know what her Coke is doing all the way down here when she’s up in North Carolina.
I was also not going to fall for that generically named Coke bottle that says “Legend.” I am not Legend. Will Smith is Legend.
I finally settled on a bottle named Ken, because the only Ken I know is plastic and hangs out with Barbie.
Another time, I bought a bottle named Tara. I drank it fast, before the Yankees could come and burn it down.